oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
