Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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