hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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