Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
