Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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