If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
