did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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