you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
