Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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