i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
