Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
