Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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