Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
