She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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