Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
