Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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