when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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