have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
