but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
