xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
