okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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