We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
