the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
