You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
