dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
