so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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