the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
