So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
