So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
