This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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