having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
