My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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