I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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