I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
