Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
