lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
