The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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