Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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