marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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