I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
