He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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