we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
