At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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