I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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