If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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