My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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