you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
