New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
