I think I am morally bankrupt
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
