mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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