Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
