At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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