My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
